my Stronghold.

 "Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand."
-psalm 37:24.


the past few days have brought with them emotions that range from each end of the spectrum.

sadness to happiness, reminiscing to regret,

smiles to tears, thankfulness to wishful thinking. 

things that went unsaid. forgiveness that will never be known. coulda, shoulda, woulda.

i've repented of these things, and now the Lord is working to heal my heart.

yet there was still restlessness in my soul. i couldn't shake it.

it wasn't until i caught myself thinking things like:

"you don't deserve to cry." or "you waited too long. it's your fault."

i had repented and asked the Lord to forgive me, but i had not yet forgiven myself. 

 "you need to release yourself from the bondage of unforgiveness. 
if God chose to forgive you, who are you to hang onto something that God chose to let go of?"
[via]

my debt has been paid. i am a new creation in Christ.
He has forgiven me, and now i must forgive myself.

through all this pain and hurt, He is Healer, Sustainer, Comforter, Savior, Redeemer.
 the Lord is holding me. He is the sole reason i'm able to function.

 
 ⁵ Let all that I am wait quietly before God,
    for my hope is in him.
⁶ He alone is my rock and my salvation,
    my fortress where I will not be shaken.
⁷ My victory and honor come from God alone.
    He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me.
⁸ O my people, trust in him at all times.
    Pour out your heart to him,
    for God is our refuge.
[psalm 62:5-8]