ponderings of the heart.

saturday, august 4, 2012

this picture was taken at the fence line of our property.
this wasn't the fire that threatened our home, but this fire destroyed a lot of one community.
daddy found out yesterday that one of his cousin's lost his home and antique cars as a result of the fire above. daddy, like a lot of us, feels heartbroken for those, like his cousin, who lost everything. something that feels like guilt keeps creeping into my mind because we were spared; we still have a place to call home. whatever it is, it hurts deep down.

the only thing people around here have been talking about for the last 4 days are the wildfires.
but the wonderful thing i've noticed is that it's not the cliche "small town gossip".
it's story after story of God's protection or praising Him for keeping their family safe, even if they lost their home.
communities are coming together to lend help, hugs, prayers, time, and whatever else is needed for those who have lost everything.

days later, i still find myself re-living saturday night.
i came across this picture on my iphone and remembered a moment at my grandma's house.

"fear reveals what you value the most. fear reveals where you trust God the least."

as i was praying and begging God to spare our home, i remembered this quote i wrote down several hours prior to the evacuation.

i was praying for our home, shop, property, belongings. i feared that everything was turned to ashes. but why?

i wasn't fully trusting God, plain and simple. after that realization, i asked for forgiveness and boldly declared that no matter what happens, i will trust the Lord with all my heart. i will praise Him in this storm. i will not fear tomorrow because i know He's holding me and my family.

fear will cripple you if you let it.
it will break you down and steal your joy.
being held captive by our fears is not what God intended for us.

but in our moments of weakness, He is there.

through the tears, He knows our pain.

in our cries, He hears our plea.

the Lord is good, a strong refuge when trouble comes. 

He is close to those who trust in him.

nahum 1:7